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Monday Movie: The Losers by @cartoonbeardy


Well it's happened again: one year it’s nothing but asteroid films, the next CGI-ant flicks; and now it's framed ex-military team on a revenge rampage movies. You have The A Team - the Saturday tea-time favourite; The Expendables- the mental one with every action actor from the 80s; and then there’s The Losers.







Friday Feature: The 10 Best Plants In Film by @V_for_vienetta

It goes without saying that Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors is the baddest plant out there (not saying much, but...).



However, you may be surprised to learn that he is not the only awesome foliage to have graced cinema screens. Hit the jump to read about the others.



Gort vs Van Helsing: Vamping it up with classic Universal monsters

A lot of people despise Van Helsing, but is it really that bad a movie?



I mean, it has Hugh Jackman, monsters and Kate Beckinsale in leather, can it be all bad? Hit the jump to find out.

Monday Movie: Prince of Persia - Sands of Time by @destroytheearth

Why are movies based on video games such absolute rubbish?



Prince of Persia may finally yield an answer. Hit the jump to find out.

Friday Feature: Our Guide To The Best Cinemas In Movies by @V_For_Vienetta


Movies within movies have been all the rage since the early days of cinema, but nothing is quite as existential as sitting in a cinema watching a movie of people sitting in a cinema watching a movie... except maybe sitting in a cinema watching a movie of people sitting in a cinema watching a movie of people sitting in a cinema watching a movie... but enough of that...



Anyway, the point of all this is to introduce our movie-lover's guide to the ten best cinemas in movies:

Wednesday Rewind: Giving Twilight a chance by @destroytheearth

The things I do for you people.



In the interests of science, I put my money where my mouth is. So convinced was I that Twilight was a blight upon the surface of the Earth that I decided to fairly and unbiasedly watch it through, so that I may better criticise it. Of course, I had a similar reason behind reading the Harry Potter books, which were incredible and worthy of every bit of praise they have loaded upon them. So, was Twilight the same? Is it a misunderstood classic? Hit the jump to find out...

Monday Movie: Robin Hood by @destroytheearth



Why, you may ask, do we need another epic action movie version of Robin Hood when, debatably, Kevin Costner already made a perfectly decent one nearly twenty years ago?


The sad answer is that Ridley Scott wanted an excuse to remake Braveheart and needed a suitable folk hero to  bend over a barrel and arse-rape for three solid hours. Hit the jump to find out how.

Friday Feature: The Five Scariest Mother-F$*@%ers In Film @destroytheearth

We all love them: those guys in films you know you wouldn't want to meet in real life; the truly hard-ass bastards. Should you be in a pub and knock over someone's pint; if it was these guys, you'd just shoot yourself and spare yourself the pain. There are so many, ranging from Hugh Jackman's Wolverine to Clancy Brown's Kurgan from Highlander.


The below, however, are the truly horrifying, not the ones who would just give you a beating, but the ones who would say "don't worry about it" and then plan meticulously for thirty years before raping you with a chainsaw when you least expect it. These are the WMDs of bad-assness. Be afraid.

Wednesday Rewind: Event Horizon -The Shining in space by @V_for_vienetta

No, I don’t think it’s as good as The Shining – are you mental? But “…like The Shining in space, and then turns into Hellraiser at the end” is the first I ever heard of Event Horizon. It was 1997, we were visiting my Nan in Clapham and my Uncle (cousin really) Stuart had seen it the day before. ”Wow” I think I thought, “I have to see this RIGHT NOW”, I probably continued. So, six days later, my friend Chris and I hotfooted it down to the UGC at Brighton Marina for the 3:30pm showing. I recall watered-down coke and awful nachos. Ropey refreshments aside: We. Had. A. Blast. This is why. This is also why I still love it.



Yaargh! Spoiler Pirates says: Here be spoilers!












Monday Movie: Splice by @V_for_Vienetta

Directed by Vincenzo Natali and executive produced by Guillermo Del Toro, Splice tells the story of a pair of rebellious young scientists who take their DNA-splicing escapades one step too far and create… dun dun dun… a monster.


Friday Feature: Star Wars Drinking Game! by @destroytheearth

You may have noticed that this week has been rather Star Wars themed due to Star Wars Day. Without further ceremony, we complete this event with yet another of my trademarked drinking games. It may be a bit late for your Star Wars marathon, but after all, every day can be Star Wars Day if you want it to be...


Wednesday Rewind: Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back by @Cartoonbeardy

Empire Strikes Back changed Star Wars forever. It was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, the film is arguably one of the best sequels, after The Godfather: Part II, to ever grace the cinema; while, on the other, it set the scene for every single awful Star Wars sequel / prequel and spin off to date...



...but we come to praise Empire not to bury it. It’s surprising to learn that this fantastic movie is still the lowest-grossing movie of the franchise. Upon its release, fans were perplexed and put off by the film’s darker tone and downbeat ending. It would be almost a year before Empire was fully appreciated by fans and critics alike.




Newsflash: Hugo Weaving is the Red Skull by @destroytheearth

And the Captain America news continues to seep out. The latest from sources at Marvel is that the villain of the piece, the dastardly Nazi menace the Red Skull, is to be played by professional bad guy Hugo Weaving.



Weaving stole The Matrix, made V for Vendetta and even in rubbish like Wolfman, he stood out. I say he can do no wrong. This film is beginning to look interesting....

Happy Star Wars Day!

Pirate Yoda says "May the 4th be with you"

Monday Movie: Iron Man 2 by @destroytheearth

I won't keep you in suspense: Iron Man 2 is not as good as the first one.


However, it is still a fantastically-fun, funny, intelligent, action-packed superhero flick that is religiously faithful to all your favourite Marvel comics, and who are you to ask for more than that?

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